Just Plain old Tired...(hope this is the post:))

This has been my theme since Thursday. Leland had his 1 year check up! YAY he is still huge... I mean a tank:) no seriously he is growing so good and strong! I am so glad! Anyway he got 4 shots, he was only supposed get 3 but I noticed they were giving flu shots, so I asked if we could get hooked up that same day, hoping to avoid another $20dollar copay, even though that is NOT what I owe any more and I tried to "tell" the staff that, but since the insurance card still says aetna they still collect the $20 from me, and I pay it realizing that I will just get the credit from it. With that said.. I still have to pay another copay... why you ask, because apparently when they get their first flu shot they have to get two! OUCH! anyway, its worth it. Leland has allergies or so Dr. Mom has guess because Thursday night was hard hard hard. I went to go into bed around 11:30 and poked my head in to check on Leland, I was greeted with the vomit smell, and then panicked (for those of you that don't know I have been having awful dreams, Brian thinks its because I think I am a bad mom, I think it just fits with my life.. I have had horrid dreams since I was 15 so yeah) I was mostly worried that he had drowned in his vomit, but then realized he was in fact fussing, as I would have been if my puke was drying on around my neck:) So I grabbed him out of bed and we went straight for the bath, got him cleaned up and then I realized... oh great, he thinks that was a nap and will be up for the next two hours. I was right, however I am sure he would have slept if I had let him cry himself to sleep I just felt too bad to in fact pull that since I let him wallow in filth... so he got rocked and sung to till around 1:30am then I had to wash everything down, and remember to change everything over to the dryer. So I hit the sack around 2:45 and Leland by the way somehow found his way into our bed, oh wait he wouldn't stop screaming so I slept stiffly by my little guy till around 5 when I asked Brian to move him to his own bed... he did so but not willingly, and I went back to sleep, only to be woken up at 7 to wake Brian up to get Leland, then to hear Brian yell ALLIE! So I got out of bed and we had found a pooped Leland, it was pretty close to everywhere, so we took him straight to the bath and hosed him down and washed him up:) So that is how my Friday started, then I worked 6 1/2 hours, picked up Leland from Hopes (you are fantastic!) and then went to wait for Brian to get off... So Saturday morning I called and figured out what I could give him for the mucus and she gave me some options, we are trying those out so that Leland can still have his go-gurt and milk without the extra mucus they create gagging him. So Saturday we ran a lot of errands, and this with an over tired mama is kind of amusing I am sure for those who get to witness it. We went to wal-mart for an oil change and it took... are you ready for this??? ....2 hours! So I spent 2 hours in wal-mart and maybe 30 minutes of those 2 hours were spent close to tears... you see a marching band from the local high school thought it would be brilliant to come to walmart and play trying to get some funds for whatever marching bands need... those of you that know Leland know he does not enjoy sudden loud noises... if the noise is soft then gets louder... he is usually ok, but when it just gets loud and he can't see it or hasn't heard it before we have a melt down on our hands... now again let me point out that I am tired... so this said marching band... decides to come up the isle that I have deemed safe, or safer than where we were looking... and they decide to play their march... well Leland melts down, and his little hands are grabbing at me trying to get up and so I pick him up but not before mom has a melt down... that's right as my child is screaming and crying I melt down as well and start balling.. I think I managed to get myself under control before too many people saw me.. but still talk about lame... but the best part of my day was yet to come... I got a text from Hope saying she had finished Leland's other gift (at this point I just really want to be done and go see his gift because she had been collecting pictures for it for a few weeks...) and so I wait FOREVER for my car to get done, and head to Hopes house, I am treating her to lunch for being willing to take Leland Friday so last minute even though she had another sitting job. So she brings me this little book.. she is lucky to have not witnessed the total melt down. but she did get tears! She had made us story book, but using all of our family and extended family! I am amazed at how much work she put into it and am SO blessed to have such a wonderful friend who loves me enough to see a need and fill it. For those of you who don't know I have been stressed about how to handle family gatherings. My in laws are both remarried and love both sets equally as much but having them together is always stressful for me. I am just worried that someone will get their feelings hurt, and I could be the one hurting them.. so it stresses me out to say the least. But Hope came up with book as a melding for Leland, Toby, Tank, BBJ, bebob, bub, Brian and put all the family pictures in it. I absolutely love it, the story is tender and sweet and the pictures turned out great...... SO great that I have to share them all with you!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

So I cried when I read it through the first time and I cried when I read it to him right before bed. He was up when his dad got home and I showed Brian ( who I think even he got a little teary eyed) who took a little too long to read it as Leland had figured that if he got up on my lap and stood up he could comendear his book back... I read it to him one more time before I put him down, and then he held it while we rocked for a minute... and then I took it from him (not an easy task) and laid him down. While typing this post I just feel so much gratitude for Heavenly Father guiding me to Texas, I have met 2 wonderful women who seem to understand me from square one, they get me, they get my humor, and they know what I need when I need it and even a hug from them can make me feel better.. oh you know who you are but I know I will hear it from Alison if I only mention Hope:) I love you two to death and there should be more outings... just so you know. Another great blessing about moving to Texas which is actually the real reason I moved here is so I could be close to Amy. She is an inspiration and I love living close to her, its fun to watch her grow as her boys do, and watch her get goofy when it gets a little two late and have her to hug when I am so down and under that she just gets it, cause she has been there too... So without me knowing it, God put me here to realize my worth. That these people could love me so much that I must matter. I must have a purpose. So as I am worn out tired and even my hands hurt while typing this I just want thanks with my whole heart the gratitude is overwhelming and I am sure I look sort of sad sitting and balling at my computer but no one is home but the baby and he is asleep:). And Hope thanks for the most wonderful gift I could ever ask for from a friend and sister.. sorry you are stuck I claim you.. I hope that is celebrity enough for you:) The pictures aren't very good but you will get the drift:)