Saturday, July 23, 2011

Nerves


My little is experiencing the nerves of knowing something is coming... something big. I have been watching him over the last few weeks and have been amazed at his ability to try and process these things. For example, when Brian or I talk to him about the new baby he seems to be happy, if not a little bit nervous but in general ok with it. When other people talk to him about it he gets fidgety and often leaves the conversation. I don't know that he is quite ready to admit that we are getting a new baby. Among other things he has become overly clingy and has recently rediscovered his bear which has not left his sight the last few days. That was his lovey from a while ago, and for like 6 months he could have cared less where that sucker was. I guess I just worry about him and his reaction. He is what I would like to call my gentle giant, he is somewhat soft with those that are smaller than him and has recently taken a liking in his friends new brother. I just hope I do it right for him, meaning I do the transition right, I don't over baby him or under baby him and that he know without a shadow of a doubt that he will always be my baby. I will just have two of them now instead of one. and I want him to know that I will love him always and forever no matter what.

A few things recently that caught my attention when chatting with him.... Last Sunday the 17th we were talking, he was feverish and just laying on my lap and I was asking if I could get my baby anything. With that he sat up and looked at me and said I'm not the baby (pointing to my belly) that is, I am your boy Mom.

And tonight after a cranky Dad got home from work ( I would SO be cranky too after standing out in the heat all day... especially when at 9 am it was already 92 degrees) and had told Leland to get in bed and stay there I had gone to check on him. I walked in and asked if he was ok or needed anything and he just looked at me with sad eyes and said... "Daddy is ANGRY!" poor kid. I explained that Dad was just tired from work and would have had him come in and back me up be he was already in bed. I don't know that Leland has ever put that together so well before tonight. That when we get stern or louder we are more angry. And maybe he has, maybe tonight was the first time he dared to say so! :)