Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Just some thoughts

We are still waiting to close on our house. Its been a super stressful week for me, and yet I know that the Lord is watching out for me. I know this because both my husband and child are still with us, and I love them to pieces. But I feel like I haven't updated in a LONG time so here goes.

Brian's surgery was a success! YAY! We didn't waste money. He still claims that his nose gets clogged up, but he is sleeping so much better, I know because he usually wakes me up when he doesn't (or maybe I am just so tired that I am not waking up.) Its still tender and healing but we are well on the way to recovery. He got an amazing blessing from my brother in law Mike, and again I am so thankful to be close to family. Its just not the same without them:D
Leland is doing great. He is so so handsome and for the first time the other day I realized he got my eyes not his dads his eyes are clearly green in this pic... whereas we thought they were blue looks like the Hazel gene won! He has been freaking out at night. I am still up because of it. It freaks me out to wake up to him screaming. I usually go in and sit and sing when it happens (cause they all say to let him stay in bed) but lately he is so shaken up I pick him up and just rock him and tell him I am here. I think the stress is affecting him but I am not sure we have had some major behavioral issues lately as well. So I think that is the safest guess. That and things are slowly getting packed up and I think that kids can sense when things are going to change and since most kids need a routine it freaks them out. 2 things I want to make sure I note are how much he loves looking at lights. We drove around for family night last night and he will yell from the back seat MAMA and then his gibberish. Its pretty dang darling! and 2 is that he has learned that Hi is a great greeting... and that it is also a "good" way to get out of trouble. It started when he had stripped in his crib, jammies diaper everything came off I walked in to get him and he knew I was ticked when he saw my face so he tilted his head and said HI I am glad to report that I am getting better at NOT giving into his darling Hi but it will be a while before I can ignore it.

Me well I am surviving.... like I said the house hasn't closed yet, its not for lack of funding the money is sitting at the title company its the fact that the title company didn't send all the documents and the bank (its a foreclosure) won't sign the papers without having everything in front of them. Tonight ended their 72 hours..... so hopefully it will close out tomorrow and we can start painting and getting things taken care of. Its super stressful to me as its hard for me to motivate when there is a possibility that this house is going to take longer than I am prepared for. Luckily we have lots of helpers so hopefully we will be able to get it done and move and it will all go smoothly. The house is still a disaster but we will make it I think. I have lots of help coming soon so that is good. I keep telling myself that.
I am increasingly thankful for the tender reminders that my first priority is my family, and I am grateful to have them... we got lucky with Leland and our fertility saga continues. SO we will put it in the Lords hands and hope there is another one for us some time. Its been an interesting process... I have been tested that is for sure. I am sure it also doesn't help to be pumped full of hormones while we are trying to move... eh survival is the key! Keep us in your prayers!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Guilty as charged

I have been struggling to maintain my sanity these last few days. And with help from my wonderful in laws and my amazing sister I have managed to NOT lose it. However it still may happen and at which point I may not be able to recover;)
Brian had surgery this last Friday, and it was nerve racking for both of us, we teased back and forth about how smart it was of me to raise his life insurance this last month to 3 years worth of his salary. But when all was said and done, he is pretty priceless to me. They gave him a Valium once they called him back and he became super happy. Except when they did the IV she was an amazing stick, got it without having to try again and super quick! Brian begs to differ but I was watching so I know:D I sat out in the waiting room while he went under the knife and got to finish the last book of The Lord of the Rings series I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed the book. The Doc came out and told me he was glad we went ahead with the surgery as his septum was SERIOUSLY crooked, I wish I could show you all how big his eyes got when he said that, but I digress, apparently the bone spur was what was causing the nose bleeds and the closed off sinus' was what was causing the mucus build up. So to get all of that fixed Brian should see a vast improvement. I only really started to get nervous a hour after that, since the Doc had come out at 9 to tell me all went well and that I should get to see him in about 30 minutes which turned into almost 2 hours. So I was ready to see him when they finally called me back. They told me turn left and left, so what did I do... turn right and go the the nurses station.... yeah I don't like NOT knowing what I am doing, so one of the nurses pointed me in the right direction and just told me to go find him. So in I went to a room filled with curtained off recovery spaces to find Brian. I passed two or three "rooms" when I found one that was sort of open, so I looked and it was some SUPER HAPPY guy... he smiled at me and asked if I was lost... I was sort of but I knew Brian had to be in there somewhere, and this guy wasn't going to be able to help me he had just had his ACL fixed or something like that. So I smiled and said just trying to find my recovering guy who happened to be right next to him, but he had and ice pack on his eyes so all I could see was his goatee.... I am glad I found the right guy though. He seemed to know I was there the minute I walked in and held out his hand. I find that he is a LOT more lovey dovey (like serious lovey dovey not his normal mocking crap) when he is on pain killers..... but anyway that was when I noticed that his feet were crossed... you can't really tell but they are and it made me smile cause Leland if sitting down ALWAYS has his feet crossed. I guess the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree.....

Anyway I found out that Leland had a fever and I wasn't supposed to expose my husband to anyone with a fever and so I flipped out for a bit and called Amy who was happy to take him even though she would risk her 5 boys getting sick. But luckily my lovely in laws kept him, not only did they keep him for all of Friday but also all of Saturday and into Sunday morning so I could get rest when Brian rested. I think they may have been a little bit sad to see him go home with us tonight. I however was so GLAD to have my bebob back. He changed so much in just those few days I couldn't stop looking at him. He is however totally irritated that his dad can't pick him up, he is pretty fond of his Dad and loves to spend time chilling with him.

Anywho I am extremely grateful to know that I have such wonderful family so close to help and listen when I feel like I am losing it completely. This week is going to be a rough go. But hopefully we will close on our house Monday or Tuesday and move by this weekend. Course we may try to move the weekend before Christmas if I can't get it all together!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Bah humbug...

I am feeling a little bit like scrooge... although that could just be because I was told by my huz that it would be silly to decorate here since we are moving in a few weeks...... I may get some decorations out if I can get it clean tomorrow, but the lack of cheer in my home makes it hard to feel the season... dumb stress:D I am in desperate need of GOOD Christmas music.... wish I had the money to just down load it:D Hopefully soon we will be able to close and I will be able to decorate MY house, finally a house.... but its been extended again till the middle of next week... This is getting old... listen to me whine... at least we can afford a house and have that luxury so I guess I should just count my blessings! Well I also need some prayers folks Brian is going in for minor surgery on Friday, its outpatient so nothing huge... just getting his nose fixed up there are LOTS of things wrong poor guy. We think that might be why he is tired all the time, deviated septum bone spurs polyp's etc etc etc... it will be good to get it taken care of!