Odd....

So I have this odd feeling like this new baby, while I am totally excited to be having it... is encroaching on my time with my current baby. Doesn't that just sound awful. I guess I will just have to make time for 1 on 1 time with me and my big boy when the new baby comes... that won't be hard because Brian is a baby hog... until they need their diapers changed... ;)

Just a little something....

That melts my heart and makes me smile every time I see it!

My boy loves to read...

I know I said I wouldn't play catch up....

But these are first day of school pictures for Leland.

He was so excited his first day, couldn't believe he was lucky enough to ride a bus! We got him all ready then waited patiently for the bus to come. We kept look out in our front room. Once he saw that bus he was gone! So excited he ran the whole way there.

Ms. Chris and Ms. Georgie are his bus driver/ helper. We adore them. They are patient with him, since the novelty of the bus has worn off some days are really challenging to get him on the bus if we can get him on it at all.

And his seat on the bus even comes with a seat belt. He was pretty stoked to be on a bus!

Since then things are going well he has speech a couple times a week. He is making great progress. Talking a lot more and in sentences instead of just demands. I couldn't be prouder of my smart kiddo. Love him to bits!

HI

Its been a long time since I have posted regularly and I think I just feel too guilty about not posting enough or catching up... SO I am not going to catch up... just start over. :) I have too much to worry about without worrying about the blog.

Today was an interesting day. It went from being 85 to 45 and overcast. I don't mind... heavens knows I don't want the summer to start too early... that would be miserable. But it totally corresponded with my mood. I currently dislike going to church... NO I am not going inactive, I just hate going without Brian and because of his school schedule he is currently working Sundays. Thankfully he graduates in May, but it makes going to church a lot more challenging. My son makes it extremely difficult to be patient, I love him to bits... but he has all of my spunk and independence bottled up inside of him (today as we were late because I was making carrot cake, which I don't even like mind you) but today as we were walking in late to sit with Ame's family as I opened the door (thankfully they were still singing) Leland said totally loud "I'm Here Guys!" and took off to go sit by Ame... which was fine... and everyone who heard him had a good laugh... as I just shook my head and smiled. But then I felt like the whole time I was sitting there I was being judged, he was squirmy and couldn't sit through the prayers for sacrament and got really excited about his water... which he totally said loudly as well. I know its all in my head but its still there. Church is hard for me. I feel totally alone in the ward unless I am with Ame, I know this is not true. That people have tried to reach out but because of our schedule being so different we just can't connect, or not having a car or whatnot. It gets old feeling alone on Sunday's and its hard. And yes I realize thats my fault but still.

I spent two hours this morning making carrot cake... I don't even like carrot cake. But apparently I make a good carrot cake (thanks mom for the recipe) its all from scratch and takes a while and a lot of dishes especially when you are having to grate your own carrots.... And then the plans we had for the cake got cancelled and I was really looking forward to them. I am sure something important came up but still I was ticked that I had made this cake because of special request and now Brian would eat like one row and be done with it.... Not to mention this then meant I had to make dinner. But whatever... trying to be positive.

Then we had some Elders stop by. I am not sure why they keep stopping by but they do... and always on Sunday when they know Brian is at work. Sometimes I wonder if they are trying to catch him at home? Its odd really, they come and stand on my porch and we visit for a while,... they courtesy laugh a lot... and then I tell them nope there really is nothing they can do for me and they go. Its always pleasant but I always feel like they wonder how sane I am when they go. Oh and I ranted about the carrot cake to them... ended it with thats probably just the irrational pregnancy hormones talking, to which one of them said... No it sounds perfectly rational... It made me laugh.

Oh which brings up another concern... I am 20 pounds heavier than I was with Leland... what if I don't show... I realize to all you skinny mini's out there this doesn't matter.... but I would really like to show... I also realize that I am only 13 weeks so it will be a while... but still.

Anywho life goes on... I am trying to change my attitude, its not working.... SO I think I will go dye my hair or sit in a tub... something, anything to try and change how horribly depressed I feel.....

Note I totally didn't proof this before pushing post... but ya'll will survive right?

Announcements...

Leland would like to announce that he is going to be a....

Its still really early in the pregnancy but I have never been one to keep it quiet for too long. One more month and we are at 12 weeks (thanks for catching that Stacey)....

Finally a new post!

Well its been a long time in the making this post back in November I had Leland screened for a speech disorder and they found that it would be a good idea to do a full evaluation so we had that scheduled in January. That eval went smoothly and they also found that he would benefit from some help in those areas SO we set up the ARD (asses, review, dismissal) meeting to figure out when my little boy would start preschool with speech help. I knew it would be 5 days a week for 3 hours a day, but I didn't realize we would be playing by the grown up kid rules. We are... My boy can't miss a certain number of days, has to be on time and have his absences excused. I'm not sure why this makes a difference but I immediately thought no more Zoo days.... :( Maybe its just because it makes my little 3 year old seem so big. Since we only have one car he will be taking the bus... I am torn people. I know this is going to be great for him! He will learn so much and grow a lot and that is whats important. But the other part of me is thinking of how many times I have said we just need to let our kids be kids... take them places, get them "unplugged" and let them develop like we did when we were kids.... The nice thing is, if at any point I feel like he needs to be out of school like for good I just have to write a letter expressing that he won't be coming any more. Which likely won't happen as I have heard such good things about this program I am excited that he got into it. That they were understanding about our inability to get him to his "Home Elementary school" which is almost a mile away, and that we also wouldn't be able to get him to school ourselves because we have one car only and Brian has that most of the time. SO he will get picked up at our home for the time being, hopefully that will continue for the remainder of the time he is at school or we remain a one car family. We met Leland's teacher today, and Leland was able to meet her too, and see the class room and all that. It was fun to watch him be so excited about everything. It was fun to watch Mrs. Mary watch him and do a quick analysis of what she thought of our sweet boy. She mentioned she thought he looked like one smart kid and I have to admit I enjoyed that. He will be in good hands with her. I am glad of that, it will make it easier to think of him being such a little guy at such a big school! Ok its not huge but its pretty big for being an Early Childhood School granted it serves the whole district but still he is small... well sort of. Its a blessing that is for sure. I am sure the days will get easier and I will enjoy having the time to organize and get things finally put in their own place! I adore my little tank and I am excited for him to start this new chapter even if it means I cry when he goes... and feel lonely while he is gone. I think he will benefit, he will be able to communicate and I think that little mind of his will just take off! :)

Lame

Blogging and the thought have blogging and catching up makes me a little antsy. I am sure I will get there again one day when there isn't so much crap going on... but until then SORRY :) but you will all survive....